Of all the things that changed since our college graduation, one thing has remained the same. UST has and will always be home for me. I've been back a couple of times: to assist in a lecture, to give a talk, to get documents, and to catch up with good friends. Sights and feels. Being inside the campus makes me feel nostalgic, always a trip down memory lane.

Nag-iisa ka lamang, pinagpalang pamantasan

Still Alive

Here's a mandatory after semester entry. But instead of blabbing about what actually transpired during those months, let me share a few things that I learned. Just three things.

First, patience goes a long way. As a self-proclaimed introvert, I also claimed to be very patient. Then again, graduate school happened. The traffic in Katipunan was enough to get to my nerves. How can a five-minute drive on a weekend be a 30 minute commute? Later on, I learned to adjust to this - from going to school earlier than usual to going home after the rush hour. Patience with reading, writing, studying and everything that comes with graduate school. I've never studied that hard since...no, never did I gave that much effort in my studies until last semester.  

Second, surround yourself with good people AKA befriend fellow graduate students. You are not competing with anyone. You are not supposed to compete with them. You do not have to agree on everything, too! Just try talking to them, even if it is just about school work. You'll find yourself enjoying grad school in no time. I did. As a scholar, my batchmates became my instant circle and I eventually gained some other friends along the way. I may not be here to win Ms. Congeniality, but hey, I am always happy to meet new people and explore new worlds.

Last but definitely not the least, don't forget to have fun! Yes, there are a lot of things to be done, but one must allow him/herself to enjoy even for a while - to escape all the stress that there is. Go on a class lunch/dinner out, a family bonding, or even a date! There's more to life than graduate school, don't let it pass you by just because of an A.

12 units of coursework done, 12 more to go. Plus comprehensive exams + thesis. See you on Monday, Katipunan. I'm still alive. I'm still in the game. I will do more.

PSS Conference 2014

Attended the Philippine Sociological Society's National Conference last October 17-19 in General Santos City, South Cotabato. I tried to submit an abstract on my own, and it got in! Attending conferences as a graduate student is actually different compared to my previous experiences. It is, however, an inspiring avenue for learning. Cheers to professional growth!

Annual 'class photo' of the conference.

Group photo with the parallel session presenters.

Katipunan x Diliman represent!

The greatest contrast. 

And yes, the trip will not be complete without food!

Maynila

Last Friday, I went to Manila to attend a lecture on protecting and restoring a people's heritage by one of the Ramon Magsaysay Award recipients. Cherie, a fellow IPC-DSA scholar at the Ateneo, met up with me at the National Museum. Masoudi's lecture focused on the protection of the Afghan culture as well as the reconstruction of their own National Museum after the civil war. It was an interesting session, though I feel like there's a lack of involvement among the people (Afghans). I wonder whether they have a sense of [cultural] ownership, while Cherie thought about the Afghans' initiative in protecting and restoring their cultural heritage. During the open forum, one line from Masoudi caught my attention, which is: the future [of the museum] must be brighter than its past. I just hope our National Museum (or any museum in the country) be given important as such, and be more relevant among the young [Filipino] people. We have a great heritage, and it's sad to see how many are taking it for granted.Museums are one of the reasons why I wanted to [originally] take Anthropology. If things don't work out with Sociology, after I finish my masters degree, may be I can look into a degree related to cultural heritage and museums (outside of the PH). 

With Cherie

Lecture at the Old Senate Hall

National Museum

But for now, I enjoy finding the hidden treasures Manila has to offer. After the lecture, we met up with Cherie's friend from Mapua. It was quite interesting that I (sort of) toured them around the Walled City. I used to go here during my undergrad years with my friends, and I actually grew up frequenting Intramuros with the family. Also, I enjoyed having lunch for under a hundred bucks. Hope to go around the area soon, beyond the usual tourist spots. Photo walk, anyone?

Walls!

Kantunan please.

Since I was in Manila, I decided to visit UST. Dropping by the Santissimo Rosario, I was welcomed by a sea of yellow. Home. That sight made feel that I am home. 

A sea of yellow

And being true to its identity, it rained hard that afternoon. I braved the rain to meet up with Ruth about her thesis. Finally, we found a theory for her! Fingers crossed, I hope she was able to pull it off beautifully using the data available. I spent the afternoon/night with her, Angie & Howell at Cafe U.K. Basically, I was just commenting on whatever she found as I was reading through Giddens. It was surreal. A year ago, we were the ones stressing about our theses. A year ago, we were the ones cursing the professors about sudden make up classes. A year ago, we were still on Caleruega high. A year ago, I never knew I could do all the things I've accomplished within the half of 2014. So much has changed. Great things ahead, no turning back, indeed.

Socio is love!

A year ago, this person wrote me a beautiful retreat letter. Because of my circumstances then, it disturbed me how much it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Unfortunately, it got lost with my other retreat letters. Hopefully I can find it again. No trip to Manila would be complete without a quick dinner and catching up with this guy. Quota ka na naman, dalawang linggo na naman tayo nagkakasama. HAHA. Thank you Howell, for staying through thick and thin. Five years of friendship, to AB and beyond! Let's just see where this would take us. Sabi ko nga nung summer, marami pa pwede mangyari in the next few years - wala naman nagmamadali. Paki bisita na lang ako sa Quezon City!

At Mang Toots

Thankful for a Friday well-spent at my second home [city]! I guess returning to where I have spent some of the best years of my life (so far) is good for the soul. It lessens the stress plus I get to catch up with the people that I value most.

Japan 2014: Sociology World Congress

Almost a year ago, Keith and I were blessed to have our abstract accepted as a distributed paper in one of the sessions hosted by the RC34 (Sociology of Youth). Frankly, we have just finished with our individual undergraduate theses when our mentor 'helped' us in submitting that one. Plans were made, and just about three weeks ago, headed to Yokohama, Japan for the XVIII ISA World Congress of Sociology. The ISA World Congress of Sociology is a gathering of practitioners of the discipline (both PhD and junior Sociologists, like us) that happens every four (4) years. It is an opportunity to converge and to discuss current trends in Sociology and/or research.  We were accompanied by our thesis adviser, Dr. Batan, and some batchmates, namely: Leanne, Keen, Jah & Rish.

Definitely, this is a first of many things. Cheers to Yokohama & beyond!

July 19, 2014
Yokohama, Japan

I've been drunk with good moments and high on optimism. The past four months, cr-azy as it seems, made me feel like I'm invincible. It felt like I'm on cloud nine, on ecstasy, in nirvana, etc. Everything just felt good. Amazing. Happy. Like I could do everything in one snap.

I was wrong.

The feelings inside of me were trapped. Feelings that remained unexplored. Thoughts sugarcoated. There was another Debbie within, yearning for freedom - to simply scream.

This trip helped me a lot. I opted to be on my own for most times, and it allowed me to simply think and reflect. Wherever I am today, it's thanks to all the intersections and hard work I did for the past few years. I know where I want to be, and I'm willing to do anything to get there. Well, not the expense of others. I'll get there because I deserve to.

I'll be braver this time. Just wait and see.

Starting Strong

Let me share this essay I've written for my graduate school application:

As fresh graduates, we actually have three options after college: magpayaman (economically), magpayaman ng kaalaman (increasing knowledge), and magpayaman ng kamalayan (enriching consciousness). Though it is tempting to find work and to get rich, I choose to deepen my knowledge and consciousness by pursuing graduate studies in Sociology. It is the promise of seeing the strange in the familiar that made me choose this program. On a sociological note, this decision may be a product of the social forces which influenced me to pursue graduate studies now. As sociology sees the society differently and helps explain a lot of things, I realize that the knowledge gained in this program will be of practical use – especially when translated to policy and concrete action. Through this program, I am also preparing myself for a career within the discipline – it may be teaching, or doing research.

In UST, Sociology majors have three core trainings: theory, research, and application. Students learn the basics of the discipline within the classroom, do research on issues, and apply the two in real life through different community exposure and immersion trips. It is through the lessons within and outside the University that I learned two things: makipagkapwa tao and maging tao. It is from my bachelors that I know how to deal with people equally, biases suspended, and how to be a better human being. Aside from being a full time student, I also worked as a research assistant for almost four years. Through this experience, I discovered that I could actually multi-task and juggle my responsibilities in school, work and home. However, it is quite a risk to do all things at once with a great chance of not being productive at all. I tend to cram when this happens. Primarily, I learned how to do research this stint, specifically qualitative data analysis through CAQDAS. I have some problems with doing quantitative research, however with the basics I know, I am excited to learn more about it. I look forward to pagpapayaman ng kaalaman in graduate school, as I know that there a lot of things in Sociology that I could add to the knowledge I gained in UST.

However, my professors also reminded me that learning for knowledge’s sake is futile. This opportunity to be educated at the Ateneo gives us a chance to explore our options, or rather avenues, on how to better contribute to the greater society. Personally, I see that there are two contributions: to the discipline and to the society. First, there is this opportunity to contribute to development of the identity of Sociology in the Philippines: as a discipline, a profession, and as a way of life. Pursuing higher education in this discipline means that we are one step closer to building a distinct Filipino Sociology, that people would identify with and something we could share to the international community. And second, it is the responsibility of the student of sociology to enrich the consciousness (magpayaman ng kamalayan) of the people around him/her in the hopes of having a better society.

Disclaimer: This was not the essay that I submitted with my application to the Ateneo. My mentor in UST told me that the text above sounds like a speech...and a bit preachy. So I wrote another piece, which I will publish in another entry.

Tomorrow, I will officially have my first day as a graduate student - inside my ultimate dream university since '08. How do I feel? Excited and challenged, both at the same time. Although I will be studying the same discipline as my bachelor's degree, it's all new to me. I guess I have to simply carpe diem and keep going - to ride that roller coaster that only goes up. I will start strong with this degree, so that I could prepare myself to finish strong. I am truly grateful for this opportunity (and/or privilege).

self portrait x carpe-the-effin-diem

Chasing Dreams

Dreams change over time. Never have I dreamed of going into Sociology and even pursue further studies. Back in high school, it was just Anthropology and working for Gawad Kalinga. It's amazing how I fell in love with Sociology-field work, community exposure trips, theories, research, etc. After three years, I can't consider the discipline separate from my life. I see myself beyond college, still loyal to the discipline. I'm off to chase a new dream, it's never too late to plan for the future right?

Slowly, the possibilities of the future are being unveiled. The journey ahead excites me, but it is not without any challenge. To get there, choices should be made. To get there, I might have to let go of some the things near and dear to me. But no, I don't believe that sacrifices will be made along the way. You just need to prioritize.

And so it begins.

Immersion.

Sure, being a Sociology major may not present a clear career path after graduation but being one entitles you to a lot of perks. As students, we get to travel and meet new people while learning. This is facilitated through our community exposure trips or immersions. With those activities, we get to apply the theories we read in books in real life situations. 

For our first immersion, we went to Davao for a week. Getting there was not easy, literally. There were a lot of obstacles, but it was worth it. All those days of being yelled at, running around the University, etc. paid off. "I can't believe it. Nasa Davao na talaga tayo. Maayong buntag!" Seeing everyone excited was enough for me. Suddenly, my blockmates were filled with energy that they didn't have in a few hours back in Manila. The whole week shocked us. It was full of ups and downs, of new experiences, and of strengthening relationships. 

Truly, it was a week to remember. A week filled with laughter, stories and lessons. I want to share those priceless moments, but where do I start? For almost a month now, I've wanted to write about our immersion. I want to share the lives of Nanay Edna and her family, Francis, kuya Julian and nanay Orlan. Then it struck me. Why do we even have our immersion? To write a research paper? What comes after that? Parang may mali eh. So what if we write a good paper? Do we better the lives of these people? 

Our lives intersected with theirs when we had our immersion. We have influenced the way they live the same way they influence us. While in their community and/or institution, we do research not a student from the University but as one of them. In Pigasaan, we experienced the long walk that students take just to attend school. They showed us that life could be simple and stress free; and that electricity is not needed to be entertained. The people from Pigasaan made us feel genuine kindness-the one that does not expect nothing in return. The inmates in DAPECOL showed us that respect and discipline are often enforced through fear, while those from CIW-Mindanao told us stories on how a mother's love could go beyond the norms and laws of society. 

How could we give their stories life? How could we go beyond the data in analyzing the reality? How could we change status quo? Reality ain't pretty, but what else can we do? We have 2 years of University life left, I just hope my questions will be answered by then.

2SCL2 <3

Happy Indeed

Finally, I met Mr. Jim Libiran! I did saw him during the Kinse premiere, BUT NOT THIS CLOSE. HAHAHA. Happy day <3 Photos taken last February 9, 2012 at the Tan Yan Kee Student Center, University of Sto. Tomas after the Happyland forum.

With Direk Jim :) (c) Jaja Veneracion

(c) Jaja Veneracion

With Pau and fellow fans, Axl & Malou (c) Jaja Veneracion

I've known sir Yayet for 4 semesters now, been working for him for 3 semesters already. But amazingly, this is my first picture with him. Ayos di ba? HAHA.  (c) Shayne Ruebe

The Happyland forum was more than an opportunity to meet Direk Jim, or to support my senior ates and kuyas. It made me realize that I'm supposed to be here. No questions asked. Direk Jim said "kailangan ng perseverance at talent para mag succeed, hindi pera". We all have our measures for success. As for me, you've got to love what you do for you to be successful. I'm going to strive hard not to get high grades, but for me to be successful here.

Youth and Politics

Please forgive me if my thoughts do not coincide with one another. I have to write my thoughts or else they'll disappear.
Where do we place ourselves in a world controlled by grown ups? How do we speak up without disrespecting their seniority? And most importantly, how could we contribute to the status quo? Youth and politics have long attracted the attention of researchers, however, these two aspects of society are not readily associated with one another. Why? Adults often see us idealistic and apathetic when it comes to politics. At first, I found myself disagreeing with this state. I'm still in my youth, and I'm not like that. Well, it so happens that I'm not the only youth in the country. Yesterday, I was in the extension office-reading the data from the TALIM Seminar. The respondents were officers of different organizations and duly elected SK officials. Most of their answers reflect the optimism that they have for our nation. It maybe a good sign for some, but I can't help but worry. Optimism could lead to possible disillusion. And false hopes. HAHA. They were talking about a nation that's progressive and peaceful; where citizens help one another, where honest and responsible thrives; a nation free from the inequalities that life has to offer. I'm not saying that this is not possible, however, the probability of these things to exist within our lifetime is little. We're Filipinos; we choose to believe in the good side of things, to believe that there is relief beyond the suffering were experiencing. We made ourselves to be optimistic, just to have something to hold on to when things get rough. Apathetic? I don't think so. But our public servants keep on talking about things that we have no concern for. Alienation, yes. People would rather not participate in a system they do not know (or doubt), than to pretend to know things. In the case of TALIM, the respondents are willing to participate because at least they have some experience regarding politics already. The Filipino youth of today does not lack knowledge when it comes to pressing social issues, but getting us to participate in making a difference is another matter. I need to catch up with my reading list, just to add more ideas. I have a lot of reading to do! I'm actually writing my thesis proposal about political youth participation, too.

Thesis.

Earlier, I was reading The Manila Boy's blog on tumblr. His latest post goes like this:

Ang Thesis, nagsisimula sa Proposal
Papatunayang may patutunguhan ang Proposal
Pag napatunayan mo na, Kailangan nang Patunayan na totoo ang Proposal mo.
Para magtagumpay, kailangan mong panindigan para tanggapin ng lahat ang Thesis mo. 

Ang thesis ay parang pag-big.

Research is an important part in the discipline of Sociology. The moment you take Sociology courses, the professors are actually 'training' you to think critically and to do research. During our first year in college, we've written tons of mini-papers (ranging from 3 to 7 pages). This semester, we're taking up Research I (Introduction to Research) and our expected course output is a draft of our research proposal. In other words, we need to write the draft of chapters 1-3 of our beloved thesis. And yes, I'm still in 2nd year. Next semester, we'll polish the proposal and defend it. As written above, I need to prove that my proposal leads somewhere; that my proposal is worth my time and effort. And like love, I would do anything for a great thesis-except have it written by another person, that's just crazy! One should consider his/her thesis paper as his/her own baby. After all, that thesis is a product of your own labor as well as your mind. It is your own, no one could replicate-in terms of content and essence. THESIS IT! I could do this! Plus, I believe that writing a good thesis paper could help me determine what I really want for my future. I just hope I don't write my thesis like this, without any draft or revision. HAHA.

Crazy.

After the Christmas break, I experienced one of the craziest weeks in UST. Why? Let me tell you in bullets:

• Lectures! We were expecting a pretty lazy first day last Tuesday, but amazingly, three out of four of our professors went on discussing as if we only had a long weekend. And so Wednesday and Thursday went by, with professors trying to cram lessons into our jet lagged minds. Thank God, no one discussed today. HAHA.
• Work. I admit, I was not focused with my work last month. I promise myself (and my boss. HAHA) to work more efficiently starting this month.  
• Immersion News. One of my close friends from the Senior class informed me last Wednesday that our batch will not be joining them on the supposed immersion on February because of some things. Of course, it was sad because personally, I feel that will be the last time that we'll bond with them. As I have said that night, c'est la vie. I found the reason to be valid, but to base their decision upon that is unjust. Just before Theology, I was talking with Leanne and Dr. Gamo about it. Lo and behold, we're going to have our immersion, and its still in the South (of Luzon, that is). I'll be the one to have the papers processed this time, lucky me.
• Quizzes! Okay, so we had a quiz on Encyclicals for Theology, a very confusing quiz for Filipino, and a mind bending quiz for Biology. And I think the exercise we did for Research is counted as a quiz, too.
• Upcoming USTSS Elections. Kuya Marc went to our class yesterday to announce about the elections. I could feel that the candidates will be competitive, lets just hope it's a healthy one.