Wednesday, May 11

Just in case you randomly stumbled upon my blog, I'm currently at my thesis data collection & manuscript writing. This semester has been tough - in terms of emotional and mental stability. Might have experienced anxiety, depression, etc., and yes, I will definitely see a doctor after this. I had my share of mornings (or whole days) spent in bed, contemplating life choices whether I should get up or not...or maybe asking myself, why get up? Quite grateful for my support group, they help me see and appreciate life beyond this stage. This is not a dead end, this a stage in life long journey.

What keeps me going, then, aside from coffee? I wanted to create a list, but maybe I'll save that for a gratitude entry. Above those things and people on my list, it is love that fuels my passion. Love for the discipline, love for my country, and the love I receive from the God. It allows me to live each day with hope and faith that things will happen in accordance to His will.

Veritas cum caritate. Seek truth in love. 

Tuesday, May 3

Rejoice, Pray, & Give Thanks: #OneMNLSHouT2016

Home from a week of training our hands, minds, and hearts in Antipolo! Being part of Couples For Christ's (CFC) family ministries, this year's summer house training (SHouT) revolves around the theme of "Rejoice, Pray, and Give Thanks".  It is anchored from St. Paul and Timothy's epistle to the Philippians:
Rejoice in the Lord, I shall say it again: rejoice. Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
The YFC SHouT for 2016 follows the life of Paul, and his pursuit to spread the Good News to the Gentiles. What happens in a SHouT? For a week, YFC leaders gather live together under one roof for both practical and pastoral training. I won't go into the nitty-gritty of our training because: a) that will be too much, b) we will be implementing this to our big sectors (no spoilers!), and c) no amount of words can truly give justice to the amount of grace and love I/we have received over the week. Instead, allow me to share this letter with you. 

We will shout, ONE MANILA!

Saturday, April 23

About seven years ago, I was sitting in the middle of Cebu. We were in a gathering of young people from all over the country, with some delegates coming from overseas. It was my first time to attend the event - it was not perfect, but I enjoyed the company of my friends. Everything is a blur now. I don't remember much, except for one moment. In the middle of the band's performance, within a session perhaps, one of the guitarists raised his arms. He was born with just one hand. As he was sharing his life to the crowd, he constantly testifies that the Lord simply provides for what he is lacking in - may it be physical or not. To simply use what he has to glorify God.

Wednesday, March 2

I remember taking swimming lessons back as a kid - absolutely hated it. One day in class, there was drill about doing frog kicks and being able to this in one breath. We gathered at the end of the pool, one by one they were already jumping into the water. I was scared because it was too deep. I was scared because I did not trust myself enough to be able to swim upwards. And then it happened. Our instructor pushed me towards the pool. I resurfaced minutes later, though I can't remember if I did it myself or someone pulled me out of the water. All I remember was the feeling of drowning. Of being overwhelmed by the water and its depth. Of how I cannot touch the floor with my feet, of the absence of a gutter to hold on to.

It is the same feeling that I have now. The feeling of drowning, and being suffocated - not by water, but by the responsibilities I am bound to fulfill. Overwhelmed of the things I need to do, scared that I might not do it all by myself. Afraid of the consequences that will arrive with failure. Overwhelmed by not seeing the end, the depth of these responsibilities. Overwhelmed by how fast time seems to be, of how fast time seems to disappear. Overwhelmed to be on my own, to be doing this one my own.

I feel like I am drowning in a pool filled by my insecurities, fears, and questions. Drowning even though I know that God will always be there to meet me where I am. How did I even get myself into this? Why am I running from my saving grace? Why am I running away You again?

Friday, February 12

Yogaphoria Studio

As 2016 begins, one of my resolutions is to develop my ashtanga practice. I've been attending Mysore-style classes in Beyond Yoga Fairview, thanks to KFit, but I need to self-practice to memorize the sequence and to improve more. Unfortunately, I sold my mat last year. I needed to find a studio nearby where I can practice on my own. The studios that I know, Beyond and White Space, don't offer self-practice. Buying a new mat is not an option yet.

So I kept searching online. Just my luck, I found a newly opened studio that's easily accessible either from home or school.

This will welcome you upon entering the studio

Sunday, January 24

Of all the things that changed since our college graduation, one thing has remained the same. UST has and will always be home for me. I've been back a couple of times: to assist in a lecture, to give a talk, to get documents, and to catch up with good friends. Sights and feels. Being inside the campus makes me feel nostalgic, always a trip down memory lane.

Nag-iisa ka lamang, pinagpalang pamantasan

Friday, January 1

Cities and Stories

This 2015, I found myself in towns, cities, and countries far from home. It has been a year of cities and stories. Indeed, as He promised in 2014, the Lord has brought me to greater heights. It is a testimony to God's faithfulness - 36, 000 feet in the air.

During the hours spent in airports and transits, there has always been an urge to write - about the trip, about the places, about the people, etc. And often, I fail to write beyond a sentence or two. Nothing beyond 140 characters. Even square images are not enough to capture a city's soul. 

Stories are waiting to be discovered behind a skyline, a coastline, or even over the horizon. Before I go on other adventures in 2016, allow me to share some stories of three cities I've been this year.

Thursday, December 3

I'd love to believe that there is a greater purpose above all of these things -
 - to see light in the dark that is to come.

I'd love to hold on to the promise -
 - the promise of eternity.

Allow me to live a life,
A life to praise and to glorify You.

Allow me to live a life,
A life that free from fear, guilt, and sin.

Allow me to live a life,
A life basking in Your love and grace.

In times of uncertainties,
Allow me to hope in You.

In times of anxieties,
Give me the strength to carry on.

Seeking for Your guidance,
Waiting in joyful anticipation.

Monday, November 2

Hello, November! Time's too fast, I'll be turning another year older soon. Quite excited for my birth month, as always. I still need to face my long due proposal defense, but I simply believe that everything will fall into its place sooner or later with prayers and hard work.