In the silence of the chapel, I uttered a simple question. Ano na? Still, after a few months, the heavy feeling that I have is still within. Fr. Stephen said that the retreat was not the time to heal, but rather the start of the healing process. There are questions (and prayers) left unanswered, and slowly, they are getting to my core. Slowly, I am turning away. With each day that passes by, I am learning to live beyond while fighting it at the same it. Giving so much leaves you empty, that you could hardly feel anything but the heartache it brings. This emptiness in service causes pain, but I know I should not think of just vanishing and planning of resurfacing again (just as the strikers in Rand's Atlas Shrugged). This emptiness should push me to seek Him more, as the fisher folks would follow the True North (through the stars) in a dark night. This journey is far from over, and I hope to follow the north star as I travel.
