Monday, January 23

I will give thanks forever!

I will give You thanks forever, I will bring You praise, forever, I will worship You forever. Lord Jesus, I surrender.

Every time I'm in a YFC event, I look forward for the worship part. Why? I feel empowered after, because worship is a form of prayer. However, for some reason, I didn't feel excited for the LiveLoud this year. I wanted to go home after our CWTS fieldwork. I was tired and weary, but something inside me forced me to go to Cuneta anyway (along with Leanne who's excitement rubbed on to me, some of it anyway). It bothered me that I actually thought of not attending the worship just because I was tired. Where did my passion go? 

We met up with ate Elaine at Libertad first before going to LiveLoud. My patience was tested at Cuneta, the lines at the gates were long and there were no marshals assigned there to guide the YFCs. If you're not keen enough to look at the gates up close, you will not be able to identify which lines lead to a certain area. It bothered me how easy for me to lose my patience (and just because of a long queue).

A lot was on my mind before the worship started, but I chose to hide them and smile. Seeing friends made things lighter, and I actually approach them randomly. The lights were turned off, then the countdown began. Everyone was screaming, counting down to the last ten seconds. 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Hearing those words from the whole community just gave me the chills. It finally came to me, that this was no ordinary worship. More than the fact that I was one of the 7, 000 worshipers, I am surrounded by the people who are important to me. Okay, so not everyone was there, but still. It felt right to worship with my friends. It felt right to sing out loud, to jump, to raise my hand, to close my eyes, and to simply pray. Neither the lyrics nor the sound of my voice mattered, what's important is I'm, I mean, we're doing it for Him. Being in the Bronze area was simply the best. I had the best seat in the house, because I saw how God's love overflowed in the entire astrodome. This LiveLoud is different, it was louder and more meaningful.

There were two sharers that night (a-la YFC UST worship), but what got me was this line:
It doesn't matter how perfect and excellent you are, but what's important is how the Lord perfectly works in your life. #LiveLoud2012
This was His personal message to me. For the past few months, I've been struggling for excellence. I felt that I'm failing in my service, in my academics, and in my work. Apparently, I was wrong. It was never about me being the greatest in this or that. It was about me glorifying God in everything that I do. As one of the new songs go, no longer I but in Christ in me. He saved me from myself, He made my heart remember its purpose once more.
At the end of the night, it was His concert.