Sunday, April 15


I'm getting used to the idea of sitting alone in our living room-watching and listening to a conference kilometers away. I'm getting used to singing, clapping, and jumping along with the delegates-in front of my laptop. Chatting with my household and friends while watching made me feel loved and not alone. But after the live stream goes off air, the reality sets in. I'm not in ILC Aklan, I'm here at home.

I was blessed that when my parents didn't allow me to travel to CDO (due to unreasonable reasons) last year, the ILC live stream was introduced. It was then that I experienced ILC while at home, listening to His message at the comfort of our home. Unfortunately, I was not able to join this year again. It was financial this time. If I passed out on our Davao immersion, nasa Aklan din ako. No regrets though, it was a great experience and praise God, this year's ILC was streamed too.

Personally, I wanted to join ILC Aklan (in flesh) because I was looking answers. It was a tough year. All I did was to serve and to pray, but unfortunately I feel that I wasn't able to give my best for my service and that my prayers were left unanswered. I felt unworthy in the process, and it affected my service. I started doubting, I started questioning His plans, and worst of all, I started putting myself down.

One thing I love about YFC conferences, they speak to you. The sessions target the general membership, but somehow they still hit you deep inside. Among all the lines delivered by the speakers and the sharers, one captured me. It says,
The point is to journey with the Lord. It was never about the circumstance-life is good because of God.
The service that I have know is only a portion of my journey with Him. Saying YES to Him is a lifetime commitment, and it does not end with my term; the call to love is constant. I realized that along the way, I got lost. At some point, bumitiw ako. Good thing though, He's always there to catch us. To say that I'm okay after the conference is a lie. It takes time to put things back to order, or at least close to that. I still pray for healing and forgiveness. It's going to be hard, but God is my unwavering hope and my sweetest companion. Every time that I'll be afraid, I just have to remember that to love is to risk. And as for love (the romantic kind), real love waits. You need someone not perfect, not right but God sent. I'm still uncertain about the future-but I know He has a plan, a purpose, and a promise for things that are about to take place.

I will strive to make my life a proclamation to His greatness. I am a missionary, and this is all for the Glory of the Almighty.